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Nikos’s Immigration Story- Oxya, Greece to Appleton, Wisconsin

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Oxya

Nikos grew up in a small village of ten families on the Greek Island of Skyros. He remembers a childhood full of challenges.

 “The clothes I was wearing as a kid had holes everywhere, and my mother was always trying to patch them. I was the fourth of seven kids, so I had to wear clothes from my older siblings. We didn’t have underwear to wear. I didn’t wear them until sixth grade.” (audio below)

Above: Nikos [right] with father and younger sister

The winters were harsh, but the summers were great – running, walking, and playing in the mountains. Nikos didn’t have a curfew, but he also didn’t have electricity. He remembers clearly how in 1976, when he was eight years old,  the village finally got power – “It was like heaven.”

Above: Nikos holding a photo of his mother

Parents

Nikos’s parents both came from hard-working farming families in the same village. Their families arranged their marriage, and after the wedding, his father moved to Athens to find construction jobs. He would return to the village once or twice a year – during Christmas or Easter – visit his wife, make a baby, and leave again. Nikos remembers how every member of the family was always working, trying to survive. While his father was away, his mother raised livestock and tended to the garden. Everything the family ate, they raised or grew. When Nikos’s oldest brother turned 12, he was sent to Athens to work; then, when his next brother turned 12, he was sent to Athens. His sister didn’t go because going to the capital city to work wasn’t for girls.

Nikos remembers dreaming of moving to Athens like his brothers- fantasizing about the big city he read about in history books. Nikos wanted to go to school, unlike his siblings. None of his brothers made it past elementary school (the highest level of education available in his village).

Athens

When Nikos was 11, he and his mother moved to Athens so he could continue studying. While there, his mother couldn’t farm anymore, so she started washing dishes in a hotel. 

Nikos was 12 when he got his first paying job. He would deliver flowers at night – paid only in tips – sometimes taking the bus alone for an hour to make a delivery. At age 14, a hotel hired Nikos as a busboy and eventually promoted him to server. It was at this hotel where he started meeting lots of foreigners and dreaming of visiting other countries like Australia one day. Athens, the big city he once dreamed about, was starting to feel too small, and Nikos wanted to see the world.

Greek Navy

When Nikos turned 19, he did two years of mandatory service in Greece’s Navy. Towards the end of his service, he was back at the hotel bartending. It was here where Nikos met his future wife, a university student from Minnesota doing a semester overseas and staying in the hotel. They would talk as he served her coffee, and Nikos told her, “I’ll show you Athens by night”.

Above: Nikos counted down the days, on the inside of his hat, until his time in service finished [top right]

After becoming pregnant, she returned to the United States to give birth to their daughter. Nikos desperately wanted to be there for his daughter’s first moments, but his visa kept getting rejected. When he finally received the approval, his daughter was already six months old, and that’s when Nikos finally held her for the first time. (audio below)

Above: Nikos holding his daughter Selena for the first time

Marriage

They married in Greece and tried living in Athens. He had a decent job, and his wife could stay home with their daughter. But adjusting to this life wasn’t easy for his new wife. After two years of being in Greece, and the birth of their son, Nikos’s wife decided that she needed to move back to the US to be with her family.

Nikos felt like he had no choice but to try and join his wife and children in America. He also knew, from his previous visa experience, it wasn’t going to be easy.

“I was kind of forced to come to the United States. Every week I would go back to the American Embassy. Every week I would get rejected, and they would ask for another document.”

To get the visa, he went to a doctor for a physical he will never forget. 

“I walked into his office, he asked to see my hands and said, ‘I want to make sure you have strong hands. If you are going to go to the United States, you are going to work very hard.’ Oh, boy, he was right!” (audio below)

Wisconsin

On November 5, 1993, Nikos flew into Appleton, Wisconsin, to join his family and start their lives in America.

“I walked outside, and there was snow and was like ‘Where am I going? What the hell am I doing here?’” (audio below)

There were no other Greek people in Appleton.

“I had nothing in common with anybody. I faced discrimination. It’s not like I was in Chicago; I was all by myself. It was a shock, the first couple of years in Appleton.” (audio below)

Adjusting

Nikos’s first Christmas in America wasn’t like anything he had experienced in Greece. His family had been too poor to buy gifts. 

Above: Nikos first Christmas in the United States, 1993

“The only gift I ever got from my father was a bag of balloons. When he came to the village, he would give each of us boys a bag of about 20 balloons. I remember we would get so excited. Here I am, and I have these two kids, and we give them everything. I remember we had a Christmas tree and ten boxes under it, and it still wasn’t enough.”  (audio below)

Nikos recalls many moments in those first years in the United States, where he wanted to leave. 

“If I didn’t have my kids, I would have left.” 

Despite all of the difficulties adjusting, Nikos didn’t give up on life in Appleton. He wanted to learn the language and blend in too. 

His first job interviews in Wisconsin were in sales, thanks to his father-in-law’s connections. Nikos didn’t speak English, so nobody wanted to hire him. As a young man looking to provide for his family this rejection really hurt.

Above: Nikos across from the hotel in Appleton where he got his first job

Frustrated, Nikos walked into a local hotel restaurant and told the manager he needed a job, promising this stranger he would not be disappointed. The manager hired Nikos on the spot, “My gut is telling me you are going to be a very good server.” Nikos started out doing room service, preparing breakfast at five every morning.

In his second year in the US, Nikos heard that another Greek who had married an American was going to be opening a local restaurant – the Apollon. Nikos got a job working there until close after he worked room service at the hotel in the morning. Some days he would coach soccer in between his shifts.

Above: Nikos outside the Greek restaurant where he worked

Education

A turning point was when his daughter was in first grade. His daughter asked him how to spell a word in English. He didn’t know the answer, and it really affected him.

Nikos grew up without his father around, and he didn’t want to be that type of parent. He wanted to be there for his kids, to be able to help them with their homework, and have the time to show them how much he loved them. (audio below)

Nikos knew he didn’t want to be a server his whole life, and he decided to further his education. 

The University of Wisconsin accepted Nikos to study finance and international business. His life became even more chaotic: university classes, working at the restaurant, coaching, and trying to arrange all of this around his kids’ schedules. He remembers going whole days without sleeping during his midterms. Shortly after he graduated, the community bank hired Nikos and he has been there for almost two decades.

Above: Nikos at his graduation from the University of Wisconsin

Divorce

Nikos says he lost everything when he and his wife divorced. It was this shock that led him to take some financial risks that have paid off. He no longer lives paycheck to paycheck and now buys properties, fixes them up, and rents them. There were moments after arriving in the US where Nikos felt like he had lost his Greek identity. Since the divorce, he goes back twice a year to Greece. He feels like he has rediscovered his identity and feels more Greek than ever.

Soccer

“Soccer is my passion. It’s like the affair I had with another woman. It’s something I have in the bottom of my heart.”

Nikos played soccer anywhere and everywhere as a child. The village didn’t have a pitch, let alone a field, but that didn’t stop Nikos and his peers. He remembers playing soccer on the rocks. In high school, a club coach recognized Nikos’s talent and invited him to play semi-professional, which he did for five years. 

Soccer was also a crucial factor in his adjustment to Wisconsin. It was on the soccer pitch, where he met other immigrants.

“Soccer was a connection for me to blend in with others. No one made fun of my accent anymore. I was talking with my feet – it’s a universal language.” (audio below)

When the local high school needed a junior varsity coach, Nikos volunteered. Since then, Nikos has been coaching clubs, clinics, his son’s team, and now he coaches at the local university. He still plays, with passion, once a week. 

“You tell me to do something with soccer, I jump.”

Nostalgia

For Nikos, oregano is symbolic of summers in Greece [see the photo below]. 

“I remember my mother making us pick oregano, to sell, and to have for ourselves. We would go up in the mountains, pick it, let it dry out, remove the leaves, and fill up bags for money.”

When Nikos returns to Greece every summer, he still picks some oregano to bring home to America.

Audio: Nikos talking in Greek with his mother on the phone

Future

Today Nikos says he has made a name for himself in Appleton. 

Above: Nikos in his office at the bank

“I love people. I will talk to any stranger. That’s how I meet people. I have a personality that people remember me for. Not always good. Not saying that everyone likes me, but that’s the way it should be.” (audio below)

The restaurant manager who hired him for his first job in Appleton is now on the board of directors of the bank where Nikos works. Nikos will never forget the people who trusted him when he needed it most.

His hopes and dreams are now for his two kids, who are in their twenties. He wants them to continue doing well, start families, and keep decent jobs. Nikos wants them to feel successful and know that it isn’t all about money. 

He has always dreamed of building a house in Greece, and he finally did that. He also became an American citizen in 2011. Nikos’s ideal retirement would be living half the year in the United States and half the year in Greece. 

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Priscilla’s Immigration Story – São Paulo, Brazil to Bedford, New Hampshire

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Childhood

Priscilla was born in São Paulo, Brazil, the country’s most populous city, to a Brazilian mother and an Australian father.

“One of my greatest memories is going to a feira (outdoor market) with my mom and eating pastel and drinking sugar cane juice.”

The first time the family traveled outside of Brazil was to move to the United States – it was for her father’s job. Her baby brother, the youngest of her three siblings, was born in Boston. Priscilla will never forget the day the family learned that he had Leukemia.

“We all had to grow up fast.”

After that, most of the traveling the family did was for her brother’s health care. They moved between Brazil, Mexico, Singapore, and a few American cities. All this moving left Priscilla feeling as though she didn’t have a “home.” She learned to avoid close relationships with people, as she knew she was going to be saying goodbye soon enough. The family was in Singapore when her brother’s health took a turn for the worse. He passed away at six years of age when Priscilla was 14. It was then that, “everything just fell apart” for her family. 

She remembers her little brother, fondly.

“When times are tough, I look at his photo, and it reminds me to always be strong. He was strong even in his last breaths.  He had this very old soul that shined happiness.” (audio below)

United States

Priscilla moved to the United States permanently in 1996 to study travel/tourism, and hotel administration at a Lasell College in Boston, Massachusetts. Shortly after getting her degree, at age 22, she had her first child.

“I was not excited about being a homemaker, so I decided to put my degree to use and open up a home-based travel agency. This job allowed me to be with my child and use my degree to assist others with my passion for traveling.”

Family

Priscilla’s religious mother gave her these prayer beads. Although Priscilla doesn’t consider herself to be religious and lives by the motto “you do what’s best for you,” she keeps these beads with her at all times as a sort of protector. These beads symbolize her family’s religion, Catholicism, and all of the history connected to this. Priscilla emphasizes that, according to superstition, it is crucial never to break these, and if you do, you must make sure to collect all of the beads swiftly.

Audio: Priscilla remembers breaking the beads as a child

New Hampshire

After living in Massachusetts, Priscilla and her family moved to Bedford, New Hampshire. Bedford is a suburb of Manchester, the state’s largest city. Priscilla has always found it hard to fit in.  

“I can adapt anywhere, but fitting in is different. I feel that when I look around, I can’t find someone like me.”

Most people never guess that she is a mother of three, or that she’s in her early forties. She has found it difficult to make friends with the local women. When she has conversations with the other moms, they generally want to discuss their children. Priscilla wants to discuss other things. (audio below)

Priscilla has also noticed that when she walks around New Hampshire, she gets a lot of strange looks, which she attributes to her having darker skin. (audio below)

She recognizes that nobody’s life is easy. Still, she thinks life is harder in New Hampshire when you are a “foreigner” – especially around Bedford, which is not a very diverse place.

“When you see somebody else who is foreign, you automatically cling on.” (audio below)

Priscilla’s closest friends are still back in Brazil – and she tries to go back to see them most summers. 

Identity

Being the daughter of an Australian father and Brazilian mother, Priscilla sees herself as a blend of the two – “the in-between” or “the best of both worlds.”

“I’m not your loud and welcoming Brazilian, and I’m also not your close-minded Australian.” (audio below)

Priscilla has always had a knack for picking up languages and speaking them without a detectable accent. When she was in Brazil, people would ask her if she was American, and when she speaks Spanish to customers at work, they think she is from Mexico. 

Priscilla wants her children to have the opportunity to travel and learn about other cultures. Still, most importantly, Priscilla wants them to have a “home”. She wants her children to feel like they belong where they live. 

“New Hampshire is the place that my kids know the most. I don’t want them to feel the way I felt traveling all over.” (audio below)

Home

Soccer is Priscilla’s passion. She doesn’t play it as much as she used to, due to a couple of injuries, but it is still a big part of her life in New Hampshire. It’s one way she stays connected to her Brazillian roots, and it keeps her feeling young.

Priscilla works in customer service. She finds it strange that people don’t socialize after work like they do in Brazil. In Bedford, people go straight home after work, especially in the winter. The United States may be where she lives, but Brazil will always be her home. She misses the warmth of the people. 

 “The people in Brazil seem to be happier than here. You see a lot of poverty, but you also see a lot of happy faces, even when life is rough.”

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Analisse’s Immigration Story – La Paz, Bolivia to Waterford, Connecticut

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Childhood

Analisse remembers how beautiful and geographically diverse the area she grew up in was – with both the Andes mountains and the Amazon rainforest close by. While she grew up in a small apartment with her parents and two brothers, her Grandma Lula had a big house with a huge yard they could play in – this is where she created her best childhood memories.

It was a Sunday tradition that the family would have lunch together, and Annalise loved helping her Grandma cook for everyone. Analisse doesn’t know why exactly, but after lunch, the family would all sit together and read the newspaper to one another aloud.

“My cousin would always read the horoscopes to everyone and we would laugh.”

Ambition

A great fouth grade teacher named Mrs. Quinzio sparked Analisse’s interest in one day becoming an educator.

“It’s not that I remember exactly what she taught us, but it was the way that she taught. Ever since then I have wanted to be a teacher to inspire kids and be there for them – especially in the middle school years when there is a lot of change going on with them and their lives. I wanted to push them to become who they can become though they do not even know it yet.” (audio below)

Analisse attended an American school in Bolivia, had family living in Maryland, and an older brother at college in Massachusetts, so she had always planned on going to college in the US.

Soccer

Analisse grew up playing football (soccer) with her dad and brothers. Every weekend they would go to a nearby field and play two on two. Analisse was excellent – so good that she ended up playing on Bolivia’s national team. She wanted to play soccer in college, but she also had other ambitions. Analisse found Connecticut College, a division three school, which seemed like the perfect place to play soccer and study to become a teacher. In 2004, at age 18, Annalise arrived in the United States on a school-sponsored student visa.

Analisse’s experience speaking English at school in Bolivia smoothed the transition to Connecticut. Her college soccer team was the other key factor in this transition. Immediately, it was like she had this family away from home. Her teammates’ parents cared for her. 

“On long weekends or holidays when I couldn’t go back to Bolivia, they would take me in – ‘their adopted soccer child.’ I had all this support.”

Educator

Analisse’s first teaching job after graduating was at the Dual Language & Arts and Magnet Middle School in Waterford, Connecticut. The school has only 150 students, and everyone knows everyone. During English class, her students work on personal narratives. The students review examples of powerful personal narratives, discuss what makes them powerful, and then learn how to write their own. She is trying to inspire them to find ways to express the life experiences and insights they have already gained.

Audio: Classroom discussion about the personal narrative they just read

“When they come to me as brand new sixth graders, they have a lot of thoughts and feelings, but they don’t know how to put it into writing. We spend a lot of time making our stories powerful – making sure that the feeling the students felt when they went through whatever experience they are choosing to write about is transmitted through their writing.”

“I have one student who is writing about her brother who died last year. Every time she writes, she gets teary-eyed, but she is like ‘this is helping me go through all the feelings I’ve been feeling and not knowing how to talk about them.’” (audio below)

Aside from teaching, Analisse is an assistant coach of the women’s soccer team at Connecticut College – the same team she played for.

“Every time I put on my cleats and am out on a soccer field, there is a feeling that it brings back. I have grown up playing soccer my whole life.”

Meeting Amy

When Analisse first met Amy, another local teacher, they would go to Harkness Park on Sundays, to lesson plan together – or at least pretend to.

“We would bring a blanket and some food and write lesson plans. We ended up talking most of the time. I would have to go home after and actually do work!”

They were getting to know each other – and falling in love. Analisse will never forget the unique way Amy proposed to her. They were both into “letterboxing” (an outdoor hobby that combines elements of orienteering, art, and puzzle-solving). Amy hid five different boxes in Harkness Park. She asked Analisse to join her for a walk since she had found some new letterboxing instructions online. They followed the instructions and collected beautiful stamps around the park. While they were walking, it went through Analisse’s mind how this would be the perfect idea for an engagement. When they got down to the water, the last box contained a letter explaining the meaning of all the stamps. Analisse still hadn’t clued in that these stamps and the letters were about their relationship.

“These people have been to the same places we have been! We should be friends with these people! Then the letter mentioned going to Harkness for picnics, and that’s when I started crying and was like ‘this is us!’ Amy reached into the backpack and got out our engagement necklaces.” (audio below)

Future in Jeopardy

When Analisse tried to renew her work visa in 2011, her lawyer made a small clerical error and submitted the wrong employer ID number. This mistake would prove to be costly: putting Analisse’s future in the United States in jeopardy. By the time she became aware of the error, the deadline had passed, and her visa had expired.

“In April 2012, I got a call from my principal saying that I needed to come back to school. She was crying and hugged me and said, ‘you can’t come back to work on Monday. Your work visa expired, and you need to leave the country in ten days.””

Analisse flew to Bolivia and started the renewal process. There were so many forms, and at the time, Bolivia was going through political turmoil. Strikes were frequent, making it hard to get to the consulate. Analisse was also trying to help Amy plan their American wedding – which was to occur in a matter of months – yet she didn’t know if she would ever be able to return to the US. Amy and Analisse began to discuss the idea of moving to Canada together. In the end, Analisse got her visa and returned to the US one month before her wedding.

Marriage

Their wedding took place in the Harkness Park amphitheater in June 2012. Analisse’s parents were not supportive of the marriage, but Amy’s were. Analisse’s uncle, aunt, and cousin were the only people from her side of the family who came – but the amphitheater was full of her friends and coworkers on a beautiful sunny day.

“There was so much love at our wedding. I was sore the next day from dancing so much!”

Analisse’s cousin read a poem in Spanish, and the vows were bilingual. There is a pizza place in New London called Two Wives Pizza, so they thought it was appropriate to head there after the ceremony. Over time, Analisse’s parents’ have become more supportive of their marriage and they are all rebuilding the relationship. Analisse isn’t sure what changed exactly but out of the blue they said they would like to see Amy too when they visit.

When they married, Analisse was still in the US on a work visa. Even though the state of Connecticut recognized the marriage, federally, due to the Defence of Marriage Act, it wasn’t. This prevented Analisse from applying for a green card through marriage. In 2013, when they repealed this federal act, Analisse started the process of applying for a green card. It was a lot of paperwork and required proof that they are actually together. In their package, they included emails, pictures, and letters. A friend recommended that they bring notes from people who know them as a couple. They admit they over-prepared, and once again, Amy surprised Analisse.

Green Card

Amy created a Facebook group for all of their friends, asking them for letters to support their green card application. These letters focused on Amy and Analisse’s relationship and how each of these friends knows them as a couple. Amy gathered all of these letters, put them in a book, and invited the friends to Harkness Park to present the book to Analisse. When Analisse looks at this book she feels overwhelmed with love.

“Amy texted me and said ‘Want to go to Harkness and walk? Oh, by the way, wear your green button-down shirt.’ I’m walking down that path, and I see this whole group of people all wearing green, and I see Amy emerge from there, and I stopped and was like, ‘this is my party.’ I got the book and probably cried for the rest of the time.” (audio below)

Above: A photograph of Analisse and Amy being reunited one month before their wedding after not knowing when they would see each other again

Together

Amy can’t imagine her life without Analisse. When Analisse had to leave the country before their wedding it gave her a glimpse of what that would be like.

“We were both crying the entire month that she was gone. That made our wedding that much more meaningful, and the green card that much more meaningful. I don’t think people realize how hard it is to do legally. To us, it is like, no wonder people come here illegally because it is hard. You really have to have a work connection or relationship with someone to come to this country. You can’t come and just expect to be a citizen. A lot of US citizens think, ‘well why doesn’t that person just become a citizen?’ It’s not that easy, and people don’t understand that.” (audio below)

Analisse and Amy would like to see a lot of change with the immigration process. So much depends on whether you can afford a good lawyer, something Amy stresses is so essential for other people to have when trying to get a green card.

“For a lot of people coming from South and Central America, it is no wonder they are coming here illegally: it’s hard, expensive, and you have to have a lot of connections.” (audio below)

*Update: Since the interview, Analisse is no longer teaching, and is now the strength and conditioning coach at Connecticut College. The Connecticut Sun WNBA team also recently hired Analisse as the head strength and conditioning coach!

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.