Month: April 2020

Amal’s Immigration Story – Khartoum, Sudan to New Haven, Connecticut

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Sudan

Amal remembers Sudan as sunny, wild, and breathtakingly beautiful, and the Sudanese people, as very giving. 

Amal’s grandmother, Souad Kalafala, whose name means “happiness”, took care of Amal when she was growing up. 

“She taught me how to cook, clean, and organize everything. She also taught me how to trust myself and how to plan for my future.”

Amal realized as a child that she had a real talent for painting. She started using the ink of henna, something popular in Sudan, to do her drawings. Amal especially loves doing henna for brides and grooms, a tradition at Sudanese weddings.

Amal met her husband Aamir at the hospital in Khartoum when she was tending to her sick father, and in 2002 she and Aamir married. She had a good job working at the Bank of Khartoum, and Aamir was a taxi driver. 

Danger

In 2008 the Justice and Equality Movement (JEM) invaded Khartoum. Both parties, the JEM rebels, and the Sudanese government’s army wore similar military outfits, which made it very difficult for anyone to distinguish between the two. While the conflict was ongoing, a group of men entered Aamir’s taxi, and he drove them to their destination. The next thing he knew, Aamir had been captured and jailed by the Sudanese National Intelligence. They accused Aamir of being a member of the JEM rebels, but he was only a taxi driver doing his job.

“I was imprisoned and tortured for a very long time.”

Fleeing to Egypt

Later that year, Aamir escaped from prison, and together the family fled to Egypt with their four-year-old son Ahmed Amir in tow. The five years they spent in Egypt were extremely difficult on Amal and Aamir. When they arrived in Egypt, Aamir was “completely broken” from the torture he had endured – so bad that at one point, he had to be hospitalized. Amal reflects on how long it took for Aamir to get healthy and start communicating again. Despite the terrible memories they have from Egypt, Amal says she met many kind Egyptians.

Their son Ahmed Amir who lived there from age four to age nine, remembers it differently than his parents.

“It was really fun in Egypt! My favorite memory was in a place called Alexandria. I remember how my father taught me how to swim and tried to teach me how to float.”

In Egypt, Amal’s family applied to the United Nations as asylum seekers. After applying, they noticed an improvement in their medical care, and Ahmed Amir was finally able to go to school. For five years, they lived in Egypt, waiting and hoping they would be able to restart their lives somewhere else soon.

Connecticut

Before leaving Egypt, they found out that their new home would be the United States. Amal and her family landed in Connecticut in November 2013. Staff from IRIS (Integrated Refugee and Immigrant Services), a refugee resettlement agency that helped bring their family to the US, were at the airport waiting. They brought Amal, Aamir, and Ahmed Aamir to their new apartment. That first morning in America was the first time any of them had seen or touched snow. 

“I woke up, and I thought Americans were crazy! I had never seen snow in my life so I thought I saw flour, and it was some cultural tradition that they threw flour on the ground and everything, but then my mom explained it was snow. Then I went outside and I wasn’t wearing anything heavy. I froze in no time! It was really cold outside, and inside it was really warm. It was a really good day.” (audio below)

IRIS

IRIS has had a lasting positive impact on Amal and her family. According to Amal, since picking her family up at the airport, IRIS has been with them “step by step.”

“IRIS was like a big mom for us.” (audio below)

The morning after they arrived in New Haven, they were driven to the IRIS building where they met the staff. Amal will never forget how they were all smiling. Sometimes weekly and often daily, Amal and her family would go to IRIS if they had any problems. 

According to director Chris George, IRIS is not a typical resettlement agency. It doesn’t want to only be “an assembly line of services during the initial months of a refugees’ arrival”. IRIS’s team realizes that refugees need more sustained help. so they provide programming that other agencies might consider extras, like health care, employment services, and an English language program with an early learning program.  (audio below)

“We have these resources because the community knows about us and supports us.”

From Chris George’s experience, Connecticut, and specifically New Haven, is a welcoming place to newcomers. The local community sees the benefits of having a diverse population. (audio below)

Adjusting

Adjusting to life in Connecticut was challenging. Amal went from survival mode in Egypt – where the only thing she was thinking about was the safety of her husband and son – to the United States, and finally being able to imagine a future. Amal found herself always anxious that she was going to lose this newfound safety. (audio below)

Despite being in a much safer environment, it has been challenging for Aamir and Amal to find work and communicate in English. The English Amal had learned in Egypt was British, and people didn’t seem to understand what she was saying at first. Aside from studying English, Amal works part-time in the Whole Foods produce section and loves her supervisor, and coworkers. Her husband, Aamir, works full time at a local restaurant as a dishwasher. He is often on the night shift and usually works 50 or 60 hours a week. He wants to go to school to improve his English, but he doesn’t have any time right now.

Ahmed Amir started fourth grade after arriving. He remembers being in ESL (English as a Second Language) class with Mr. Zach, someone whose patience and kindness helped him adjust. Ahmed Amir couldn’t believe how many different countries his classmates were from.

“Everybody treated each other equally like nothing was different no matter what race you were or color. Everybody was treated the same.”

Ahmed Amir has developed a real love for basketball since moving to the US, something he would never have played in Sudan. His favorite subjects are geography and history and he is especially excited to be learning Spanish this year, so he can communicate with some of his new Spanish-speaking friends in their language. (audio below)

Uncle Adam

They have one other person living in their house, and they refer to him as Uncle Adam. From the Darfur region of Sudan, Uncle Adam had been living in Libya and working as a tailor. When civil war broke out in 2011, he sought refuge at Salum Camp, on the border between Egypt and Libya. Like Amal’s family, he was resettled to New Haven in 2013 but was immediately admitted to hospital for two major surgeries. Today Uncle Adam is blind in one eye, has diabetes, a tumor in his head, and kidney problems. 

After arriving in New Haven, Uncle Adam lived for three years in a home with other single men who didn’t have a family. Most of these men in the house were young and busy working, so they didn’t have time to help him. Uncle Adam and Aamir are not from the same family or tribe, but Aamir saw that Uncle Adam was lonely and started visiting him regularly. Aamir would cook for him, do his laundry, shave his beard, and cut his nails. Aamir could see Uncle Adam wasn’t happy there, so he started bringing Uncle Adam to the house for Amal’s Sudanese cooking. (audio below)

Amal and Aamir realized they could take care of Uncle Adam on a full-time basis. With the help of IRIS, they did all the paperwork to become legally responsible for the care of Uncle Adam. When they first were resettled to New Haven, they lived in a one-bedroom house, but the judge said they needed to change homes for Uncle Adam to have his own room. This change meant an increase in rent, but they are managing.

Faith

Prayer and religion continue to be a big part of their family’s life in America and it’s something that they share with Uncle Adam.

Audio: The family and Uncle Adam praying at home

“We take Uncle Adam to pray at the mosque so that he can see other Sudanese people. Now he is one of the community, and he is doing better.”

Amal says the saddest part of Uncle Adam’s story is that he was trying everything to get his wife to the USA. With the help of a lawyer from IRIS, they started doing all the documents and coordinating with the US embassy in Khartoum. She got her visa, and one week before leaving for the US, she passed away. Uncle Adam was never able to see her again. All four of his children are still in Sudan, and they don’t have the financial means to visit him. 

Ambitions

While in Egypt, Aamir learned how to weld. Someday he would love to work as an engineer or pipeline inspector in the future instead of being a dishwasher. Amal wants to improve her language skills, so she can know more about the people she meets, and they can know her. On top of working at Whole Foods, Amal is studying English, as well as culinary arts, with the hopes that it will land her a good job in the field.

“We need to improve ourselves, our language, and be one of them [Americans]. We came to this country, have our own culture and traditions, but we need to know about these people. At first, we felt like guests, but I think after five years, we are a part of this community.” (audio below)

Future

Amal’s dream for the future is for her son Ahmed Amir to be happy, and seize the opportunities that she knows he has in the United States. 

“I think he is very lucky because of the education he gets here. There are more opportunities here if you want to improve yourself with knowledge. Everything is available here, unless you don’t want it.” (audio below)

Ahmed Amir dreams of one day traveling to Sudan to see his grandmothers and uncles again. 

“I see them over the phone, but it’s been a long time since I’ve seen them in person.”

*Update: Since the interview, Amal moved her family to Vermont for an incredible educational opportunity – private high school education for Ahmed Amir. Uncle Adam stayed in Connecticut, at the recommendation of his doctors.

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Kriz’s Immigration Story – Hudiksvall, Sweden to Nashville, Tennessee

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Childhood

Kriz was born in the broader community of Hudiksvall, but her family lived in a small fishing village of only 200 households. She had a middle-class upbringing, with her mother at home caring for the family until she was seven. At that point, her mother became a “mail lady” at the post office. Her father worked in the sawmill. She was able to walk to her elementary school in her village, but from seventh grade onwards, Kriz took a bus to and from school. Kriz spent the summers of her childhood at her family’s lake house. Her father built a boat, and Kriz was seven when she first went out in it.

“I’m getting emotional now because he has Alzheimer’s, and his life is degenerating. He built that boat. It had a little engine on it, and he showed me how to start, stop and steer, and how to change the throttle. He started it for me and said, “off you go” and “off I went.” (audio below)

Her father was a keen archer and founder of their village’s archery club. The love of this sport rubbed off on Kriz, and for two years, Kriz held a Swedish national record.

Above: A handmade blown-glass bowl Kriz won at an archery competition

Country Music

Kriz’s dad also loved listening to country music. During family drives, he always played a mixed tape of Swedish traditional music, old-time rock n roll, and country music. He wanted Kriz to play an instrument, and he chose the accordion – which she didn’t care for. When she was 12, a new music teacher moved to the village, and seeing her dislike of the accordion, suggested Kriz try playing the guitar. Kriz started writing country music when she was 13 years old and figures that she has written over 300 songs to date [see her song binders below].

Audio: Kriz singing her signature song

“ I’ve been told that I have a Swedish accent when I speak but not when I sing.” (audio below)

Over the years, Kriz had several different jobs in Sweden: working in the sound department at a TV station and then on a farm. Before moving to the US, Kriz worked at a ski resort in the winter [see the photo below] and spent the rest of the year driving tractors and harvesting at both a sawmill and a peat moss field. Although she has yet to work as a truck driver – one job Kriz has always dreamed about doing.

“I guess it was a romanticized thing for me – the freedom of being on the roads listening to music.”

Growing up, she knew very little about the US, and never had any plans of visiting. All she knew was that it had a strong military, and it was massive.

“Exactly how big it is you don’t understand until you come here. If you travel from the northernmost point to the southernmost point in Sweden, it will take 10 to 12 hours – the same amount of time it takes to travel one state in the US.”

Finding Love

Kriz became an avid user of the website Myspace, regularly posting her music there. A man from Chattanooga, Tennessee, started frequently commenting on her music. In response, Kriz saw the potential for musical collaboration and sent him a recording of her singing along to one of his songs.

“I threw it out there: ‘Maybe we can do something together sometime?’ The conversation continued, and slowly but surely, we fell in love.” (audio below)

The phone bill was getting so expensive that it would be cheaper to buy airfare and meet in person than continue the long-distance relationship. This Tennessean proposed to her over the phone, but she said she wanted to meet him in person first. In 2008 she came to the US, he proposed, and Kriz said ‘yes.’

United States

Moving to the US was intimidating for Kriz, even though she could already speak English well.

“I was afraid I would do something wrong and stand out.”

The ubiquitous billboards lining the road were one of the first things that struck her about America, along with the incredible number of cars. The highway where she grew up had only two lanes, in comparison to the eight lanes in each direction she now experienced. Kriz could not believe people used drive-thru banks! 

“In Sweden you park your car and run errands on foot. Over here you drive-thru everything!”

It was a strange experience being unable to work legally when she first arrived on a K-1 fiancée visa. She used all this free time to learn about American culture by watching the Andy Griffith show. Kriz also started a diary of where and what she ate. The first entry on her list was McDonald’s, where she had a Mcgriddle, something she had never seen in Sweden. 

Kriz’s first job in the US was in a medical office answering phones, and next, she worked in a call center.

Nashville

Kriz and her husband moved from Chattanooga to Nashville because he needed back surgery. After he had recovered, Kriz began working at a chocolate store in a mall where she makes candy, candy apples, and stocks the chocolates. Kriz enjoys the job, and her boss says she would be lost without Kriz.

The first word that comes to mind when Kriz thinks of Nashville is ‘vibrant”. 

“You can feel the music in the air. If you are creative, you can feel inspiration just flowing around. It’s definitely touristy, but it has everything – big city life to country life.”

Kriz regularly visits Percy Priest Lake, only ten miles outside of downtown Nashville. After growing up by the water, it’s where she feels most at home in Tennessee.

Missing Sweden

Kriz misses all the holidays in Sweden, which always seem to be longer and more often there. In Sweden, you don’t put out cookies for Santa at Christmas but instead, leave a bowl of rice pudding. One important holiday in Sweden is Midsommar (Midsummer). It is so dark for most of the year, so they celebrate light! Traditionally young girls pick seven different types of flowers and use these to dream about who they are going to marry. Today most people don’t believe in this custom, but in the past, people did. Superstition amongst the older generation in Sweden was quite common. Kriz’s grandmother was always blaming trolls for any misfortune.

“My grandmother seriously believed in trolls and little supernatural beings living out in the woods or under the cabin. If something was missing, she blamed ‘the little ones.’”

She also misses the Fika culture – the time you socialize over a cup of coffee or a cup of tea (soda or kool-aid for the children) and snack. ‘Having a Fika’ with a friend is part of everyday life in Sweden. Her family always kept cinnamon rolls in the freezer in case someone came over. In nearby Atlanta, there is a large Swedish community and an IKEA store. While Kriz used to enjoy the Swedish meatballs, becoming a vegetarian has made her miss Swedish food less.

Audio: Reading her favorite poem by Swedish poet Dan Andersson

Future

It is hard having her parents still living in Sweden, especially with her father’s Alzheimer’s. Kriz is the only person in her family living in the United States. 

“They respect my choice, but they miss me, and I miss them.”

What makes it even harder lately is that her husband’s health hasn’t been good, so they no longer sing together. In the immediate future, Kriz will be releasing a small collection of poetry, while still hoping to write that “first million-dollar song.” 

Audio: A poem Kriz wrote for her granddaughter’s christening

*Update: Kriz’s father passed away this year. “God and circumstance would have it that I was there visiting, and he passed away peacefully. Even though I couldn’t stay to attend the funeral, the last verse of my dad’s favorite poem was read to him by his casket for me.” If you would like to listen to more of Kriz’s music, you can visit her Facebook Page. 

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.

Analisse’s Immigration Story – La Paz, Bolivia to Waterford, Connecticut

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Childhood

Analisse remembers how beautiful and geographically diverse the area she grew up in was – with both the Andes mountains and the Amazon rainforest close by. While she grew up in a small apartment with her parents and two brothers, her Grandma Lula had a big house with a huge yard they could play in – this is where she created her best childhood memories.

It was a Sunday tradition that the family would have lunch together, and Annalise loved helping her Grandma cook for everyone. Analisse doesn’t know why exactly, but after lunch, the family would all sit together and read the newspaper to one another aloud.

“My cousin would always read the horoscopes to everyone and we would laugh.”

Ambition

A great fouth grade teacher named Mrs. Quinzio sparked Analisse’s interest in one day becoming an educator.

“It’s not that I remember exactly what she taught us, but it was the way that she taught. Ever since then I have wanted to be a teacher to inspire kids and be there for them – especially in the middle school years when there is a lot of change going on with them and their lives. I wanted to push them to become who they can become though they do not even know it yet.” (audio below)

Analisse attended an American school in Bolivia, had family living in Maryland, and an older brother at college in Massachusetts, so she had always planned on going to college in the US.

Soccer

Analisse grew up playing football (soccer) with her dad and brothers. Every weekend they would go to a nearby field and play two on two. Analisse was excellent – so good that she ended up playing on Bolivia’s national team. She wanted to play soccer in college, but she also had other ambitions. Analisse found Connecticut College, a division three school, which seemed like the perfect place to play soccer and study to become a teacher. In 2004, at age 18, Annalise arrived in the United States on a school-sponsored student visa.

Analisse’s experience speaking English at school in Bolivia smoothed the transition to Connecticut. Her college soccer team was the other key factor in this transition. Immediately, it was like she had this family away from home. Her teammates’ parents cared for her. 

“On long weekends or holidays when I couldn’t go back to Bolivia, they would take me in – ‘their adopted soccer child.’ I had all this support.”

Educator

Analisse’s first teaching job after graduating was at the Dual Language & Arts and Magnet Middle School in Waterford, Connecticut. The school has only 150 students, and everyone knows everyone. During English class, her students work on personal narratives. The students review examples of powerful personal narratives, discuss what makes them powerful, and then learn how to write their own. She is trying to inspire them to find ways to express the life experiences and insights they have already gained.

Audio: Classroom discussion about the personal narrative they just read

“When they come to me as brand new sixth graders, they have a lot of thoughts and feelings, but they don’t know how to put it into writing. We spend a lot of time making our stories powerful – making sure that the feeling the students felt when they went through whatever experience they are choosing to write about is transmitted through their writing.”

“I have one student who is writing about her brother who died last year. Every time she writes, she gets teary-eyed, but she is like ‘this is helping me go through all the feelings I’ve been feeling and not knowing how to talk about them.’” (audio below)

Aside from teaching, Analisse is an assistant coach of the women’s soccer team at Connecticut College – the same team she played for.

“Every time I put on my cleats and am out on a soccer field, there is a feeling that it brings back. I have grown up playing soccer my whole life.”

Meeting Amy

When Analisse first met Amy, another local teacher, they would go to Harkness Park on Sundays, to lesson plan together – or at least pretend to.

“We would bring a blanket and some food and write lesson plans. We ended up talking most of the time. I would have to go home after and actually do work!”

They were getting to know each other – and falling in love. Analisse will never forget the unique way Amy proposed to her. They were both into “letterboxing” (an outdoor hobby that combines elements of orienteering, art, and puzzle-solving). Amy hid five different boxes in Harkness Park. She asked Analisse to join her for a walk since she had found some new letterboxing instructions online. They followed the instructions and collected beautiful stamps around the park. While they were walking, it went through Analisse’s mind how this would be the perfect idea for an engagement. When they got down to the water, the last box contained a letter explaining the meaning of all the stamps. Analisse still hadn’t clued in that these stamps and the letters were about their relationship.

“These people have been to the same places we have been! We should be friends with these people! Then the letter mentioned going to Harkness for picnics, and that’s when I started crying and was like ‘this is us!’ Amy reached into the backpack and got out our engagement necklaces.” (audio below)

Future in Jeopardy

When Analisse tried to renew her work visa in 2011, her lawyer made a small clerical error and submitted the wrong employer ID number. This mistake would prove to be costly: putting Analisse’s future in the United States in jeopardy. By the time she became aware of the error, the deadline had passed, and her visa had expired.

“In April 2012, I got a call from my principal saying that I needed to come back to school. She was crying and hugged me and said, ‘you can’t come back to work on Monday. Your work visa expired, and you need to leave the country in ten days.””

Analisse flew to Bolivia and started the renewal process. There were so many forms, and at the time, Bolivia was going through political turmoil. Strikes were frequent, making it hard to get to the consulate. Analisse was also trying to help Amy plan their American wedding – which was to occur in a matter of months – yet she didn’t know if she would ever be able to return to the US. Amy and Analisse began to discuss the idea of moving to Canada together. In the end, Analisse got her visa and returned to the US one month before her wedding.

Marriage

Their wedding took place in the Harkness Park amphitheater in June 2012. Analisse’s parents were not supportive of the marriage, but Amy’s were. Analisse’s uncle, aunt, and cousin were the only people from her side of the family who came – but the amphitheater was full of her friends and coworkers on a beautiful sunny day.

“There was so much love at our wedding. I was sore the next day from dancing so much!”

Analisse’s cousin read a poem in Spanish, and the vows were bilingual. There is a pizza place in New London called Two Wives Pizza, so they thought it was appropriate to head there after the ceremony. Over time, Analisse’s parents’ have become more supportive of their marriage and they are all rebuilding the relationship. Analisse isn’t sure what changed exactly but out of the blue they said they would like to see Amy too when they visit.

When they married, Analisse was still in the US on a work visa. Even though the state of Connecticut recognized the marriage, federally, due to the Defence of Marriage Act, it wasn’t. This prevented Analisse from applying for a green card through marriage. In 2013, when they repealed this federal act, Analisse started the process of applying for a green card. It was a lot of paperwork and required proof that they are actually together. In their package, they included emails, pictures, and letters. A friend recommended that they bring notes from people who know them as a couple. They admit they over-prepared, and once again, Amy surprised Analisse.

Green Card

Amy created a Facebook group for all of their friends, asking them for letters to support their green card application. These letters focused on Amy and Analisse’s relationship and how each of these friends knows them as a couple. Amy gathered all of these letters, put them in a book, and invited the friends to Harkness Park to present the book to Analisse. When Analisse looks at this book she feels overwhelmed with love.

“Amy texted me and said ‘Want to go to Harkness and walk? Oh, by the way, wear your green button-down shirt.’ I’m walking down that path, and I see this whole group of people all wearing green, and I see Amy emerge from there, and I stopped and was like, ‘this is my party.’ I got the book and probably cried for the rest of the time.” (audio below)

Above: A photograph of Analisse and Amy being reunited one month before their wedding after not knowing when they would see each other again

Together

Amy can’t imagine her life without Analisse. When Analisse had to leave the country before their wedding it gave her a glimpse of what that would be like.

“We were both crying the entire month that she was gone. That made our wedding that much more meaningful, and the green card that much more meaningful. I don’t think people realize how hard it is to do legally. To us, it is like, no wonder people come here illegally because it is hard. You really have to have a work connection or relationship with someone to come to this country. You can’t come and just expect to be a citizen. A lot of US citizens think, ‘well why doesn’t that person just become a citizen?’ It’s not that easy, and people don’t understand that.” (audio below)

Analisse and Amy would like to see a lot of change with the immigration process. So much depends on whether you can afford a good lawyer, something Amy stresses is so essential for other people to have when trying to get a green card.

“For a lot of people coming from South and Central America, it is no wonder they are coming here illegally: it’s hard, expensive, and you have to have a lot of connections.” (audio below)

*Update: Since the interview, Analisse is no longer teaching, and is now the strength and conditioning coach at Connecticut College. The Connecticut Sun WNBA team also recently hired Analisse as the head strength and conditioning coach!

#FINDINGAMERICAN

To receive updates on the book release and exhibition of “Finding American: Stories of Immigration from all 50 States” please subscribe here. This project is a labor of love and passion. If you would like to support its continuation, it would be greatly appreciated!

© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.

Ihab’s Immigration Story – Basra, Iraq to Harrisonburg, Virginia

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Ihab is the son of a Jordanian father and an Iraqi mother. His paternal family – the Sadoons – have historically been bedouins distributed between Jordan, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, and Kuwait. His father was an orphan, living in a society that did not welcome his people. Despite this, at age 18, Ihab’s father was accepted to study medicine at Johns Hopkins and Columbia University.

War

The family was living in Iraq when Ihab was born in 1979, because of the war and the country’s need for doctors. They would move from one place to another, depending on what hospital needed his father the most. For the first ten years of his life, he and his three siblings grew up surrounded by war.

“I remember our house was hit once with a bomb. I remember packing so many times – packing our stuff and going from one place to another. And I remember losing my friends. We didn’t live more than two or three years in one place – we kept moving, which was very frustrating – it just became so much harder for me to make friends. It’s not worth it to make friends, then lose them in a year or two. We had to leave so many places.” (audio below)

Dentistry

In the 1990s, the economy was failing in Iraq, so the family moved to Jordan, and that’s where Ihab attended university to become a dentist. In 2007 he was accepted to NYU’s graduate program in implant surgery. He did an internship in Maryland and a residency at Columbia University in NYC. Ihab planned on returning to the Middle East, but with the Arab Spring happening, and his daughter in the US, he decided to stay. 

While away from his region of birth, Ihab keeps letters from his late father and his sister close to his heart.

“Every time I feel bad, I open these letters. I start reading and feel good. My dad always reminded me that I came here for a reason – ‘don’t waste your time; do not forget that there are lots of people that are waiting to be helped by you. Always be kind to others. Don’t forget me.’”

Other than his father, he has always been close to his younger sister. Ihab cherishes a letter she wrote saying how much she loves him and can’t wait to travel with him.

“I was having a tough time with my marriage, and my sister always tried to say positive things and remind me to focus on my daughter.”

While living in New York, Ihab became very interested in outdoor activities like hiking, snowboarding, and biking. It was challenging in NYC to get out into nature. This changed in 2013 when he moved to Virginia, which has plentiful and easily accessible outdoor recreation opportunities. 

Harrisonburg

When Ihab first moved to Harrisonburg, Virginia, it didn’t feel like a welcoming community, but that has since changed.

“I feel like Harrisonburg is becoming a good hub for the multicultural community. Once people know you they open their arms, but it takes a while. For the first couple of years, people weren’t welcoming. Locals are not used to foreigners that much. If you go to the countryside where my patients are from, they are not used to accents or different colors.”

Above: A gift Ihab’s daughter made him for the religious holiday Eid

Diversity

At the mosque he attends on Fridays, almost everyone is a refugee. In New York, he was used to meeting people in his community who were highly educated professionals. The Harrisonburg immigrant community is mostly farmers, taxi drivers, and factory workers. He believes this diversity within the community sometimes leads to cultural misunderstandings and has brought both good and bad to Harrisonburg.

“It’s like if you take a guy from West Virginia and dropped him off in India.”

Ihab is trying to get more involved in the Muslim community and local interfaith initiatives, especially after the election in 2016. He is happy that when local churches and synagogues gather, they invite the mosque now.

“We need to show we are part of the community and that we belong.” 

Specialist

Ihab works as a dental surgeon at the hospital, primarily with geriatric patients, as well as covering the emergency room. In New York, he treated a lot of gunshot victims or people in traffic accidents, but here he is doing a lot of extractions.

“It’s not crazy here like it used to be in New York.”

When Ihab first moved to Harrisonburg, a lot of patients were referred to him because of his specialty. Some of them thought he was too young, and that they couldn’t trust him because of his accent and background. He would give these patients their treatment plan, but they would go to someone else for a second opinion – the local “American” doctor who grew up in Virginia. Ihab explains how it was funny because that doctor would usually say, “no, you need to go back to him [Ihab] – he’s the specialist!”

“They tried to run away from the Middle Eastern guy with an accent. Now a lot of those patients don’t want to see anyone but me!” (audio below)

When Ihab goes bow hunting in the countryside, he knows people look at him funny because of his appearance and accent. Today a lot of the locals know him as “The Jordanian.”

Above [right]: Ihab’s homemade venison sausage

“The more time I spend here, the more bond I feel I have with the locals.”

Ihab has faced discrimination in Iraq and Jordan, so when he was leaving for the United States, he was worried. However, the country surprised him. The US is the place where he feels most at home.

Daughter

Ihab didn’t plan on becoming a father when he did. At the time of his daughter’s birth, he wasn’t economically stable, and his marriage was already in trouble. He wasn’t sure he even wanted a child.

“To tell you the truth, my daughter is the best thing that ever happened in my life. She protected me from committing suicide. I had lots of pressure in my career and then the divorce. She is the only thing that makes me really happy.” (audio below)

Ihab has his daughter over every other weekend and for most of the summer.

“I wait so passionately for these days. This is my fun time. My daughter does everything I do – we bike together, we kayak together, we climb together. Being a father – I’m so blessed to be that guy. This little thing comes and isn’t planned and becomes the pleasure of your life.”

Father

Ihab hopes to set a good example for his daughter, like how his father did for him.

“My dad was my role model. He was always willing to help people. I just wanted to be like him.”

Ihab’s father came to visit him in Harrisonburg before he passed away in 2016.

“When I lost him, I was in Kenya on a mission trip. I was going to come back for his funeral, but if he were alive, he would have told me to go back and help people. This is what he would like me to do.” (audio below)

“This is a letter my dad sent me before he died. He asked me to open it after he died. He was writing his will. Every week I open and read it. ‘We are all going to die. Do good things and try to be good to family and your patients.’ He was a religious guy, so he wrote, ‘God will always take care of you.’” (audio below)

Travel

Ihab has traveled a lot. He has three passports filled with stamps.  

“Every stamp has a story.”

India is one place that continues to have a lasting impact on Ihab. Even though people have so little materially, they seemed happy. It was shocking. He returned to America, knowing that instead of buying luxury items, that money could feed people in need. He subsequently began to donate to those who are less fortunate, and he buys only what he needs.

 “India changed my lifestyle forever. I try not to be luxurious at all and try my best to remind those around me of this. I want to share this with his daughter.”

Future

Ihab is hopeful for the future. He used to be argumentative and willing to fight. Today, he believes if you speak softly, others will eventually understand you. In response to the current administration’s rhetoric towards Arabs and Muslims, many of Ihab’s patients have reached out with compassion to let Ihab know that they don’t believe what they hear from this administration about his people. They want Ihab to know that the president does not speak for them.

“Lots of immigrants don’t have a life anywhere other than here. They are more American than Americans themselves, because they don’t take it for granted. They are great assets for the American mosaic.”

“Regarding my future – the road is open. Sometimes I think about taking a few years off and going on medical missions. I don’t know what I’m going to do in my life. If I’m here in the US, I will help bridge the gap between the right and left of the aisle.”

Ihab says he doesn’t have many childhood friends because he didn’t live in one place long enough while growing up. This inability to stay put for long has continued into adulthood. Ihab has been in the US for a little over a decade and has already lived in four different states.  

“I am living like a modern bedouin. I get bored and always find an excuse to move. I’m not sure how long I’ll stay in Virginia, but I’m definitely enjoying my life. There is lots of goodness in the people here. They try to be good neighbors.”

#FINDINGAMERICAN

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© Photos and text by Colin Boyd Shafer | Edited by Kate Kamo McHugh. Quotes edited for clarity and brevity.